All Haikus by Todd Stadler
Twinkies: an experiment done by Chris and Todd | |
The Scientists Pseudo scientists one named Chris, the other Todd. They did these dumb tests. The Subject Moist golden sponge cake. Creamy white filling of joy. Boy, I love Twinkies! Enriched flour and water, sugar, corn syrup oils - many kinds eggs, dextrose, food starch whey, leavenings, salt, starch, and yellow corn flour corn syrup solids mono and diglycerides dextrin, calcium caseinate and sodium stearoyl and lactylate also cellulose gum and polysorbate 60 and wheat gluten also lecithin, flavors artificial colors - lots! and sorbic acid |
The Experiments Twinkies don't burn well unless doused in alcohol. Then they make good fires. Twinkies in water expand to near twice their size and look really gross. When they are pureed Twinkies can be compressed much. Really mostly air. Do Twinkies conduct? Run lots of current through them. Very resistive. Dropped off of sixth floor Twinkies are not injured much. Just a small fissure. Microwaved Twinkies emit a great deal of smoke and smell very bad. Is the Twinkie smart? Is it just ignoring us? Maybe never know. Poor control Twinkie. Its conditions never change. I guess I'll eat it. |
